About a month ago I met a man in line at Goodwill Outlet (my very favorite place) who made a significant impression on me. We were talking about age. He asked me how old I was and I told him 37. He thought I was younger which for some reason made me blush, his manner of speech was so sweetly forthcoming. I’m in the middle of my projected lifespan and it is wonderful and strange. Noticed recently I’ve an aging neck and I saw today some new lines under my right eye and I realize my skin is getting tired. Strands of hair are silvering. My youth is helplessly slipping. There is no preserving it. I am forced to find the romance in maturation.
The handsome fellow in line next to me asks “How old do you think I am?” I shrug. “I’m 70.” he said.
“Really!” I say. “You don’t look 70. But tell me. What is 70 like?”
“It’s awful.” He said. “So lonely. Friends die or move in with family. People forget you. No one cares about you when you’re old. I’ll tell you. I have stories. I have done it all. Drank, chased women, smoked dope, stole (but never from a person), only been in jail once which is pretty good when you grew up in the hood. Oh I could tell you stories. I will give you my number. Don’t give me yours but this is my number. You could call me anytime. 4 in the morning. That’s another thing about being old, you don’t sleep.”
I haven’t called him. But when I sat down to the piano after meeting such an honest fellow, this melody came to me and soon after that, some time sensitive lyrics. Here’s a holiday song, inspired by Billy Ray. You can download it for free here.
all alone
all alone
all we learn on our own
how to use what we know on a dime
in the house no one calls
phone is tethered to a wall
I will throw a record on for old times
in my heart there’s a place
you have come before
how come you don’t come anymore?
this room gets so cold
and I’m scared sometimes
but I’ll be fine
I hold a thought of you in place
and when the earth turns its face
colors ache across an icy sky
bittersweet my old friend
it’s the holidays again
suits me like an outgrown lullaby
though we fit together
love I do know better
then to call another living thing mine
we’re not long here staying
only truth is we’re changing
we’ll decide to erode or shine
clouds’ll drift away
nothing stays the same
like seeing for first time
a baby’s cry
turns to a grown man’s smile
leaves to lose and find his way
in the end in the end
all our homeless wandering
reveals the grandeur of a heart’s floor plan
now is when it begins to get good if we can
hold each moment like a lovers hand
it’ll slip away nothing stays the same
the grape lets go of the vine
winter snow makes the water fall
the fruit becomes new wine
all alone all alone
all we learn on our own
what is left after a long hard cry
where are you my old friend
it’s the holidays again
suits me like an outgrown lullaby
